11 Games, .273 Winning Percentage

I don't think that every sports fan is just like me. I used to go to Chiefs games during the heyday of the Marty Schottenheimer era and I was always amazed at the negativity of the fans sitting around me. It seemed that many fans were expecting the Chiefs to blow every game--and blaming Marty for the impending doom. (I don't know why they thought Marty would blow those game--these were all regular season games. )

A couple loud fans behind me would bemoan that the Chiefs would always run on first down! Which was not at all true. What was true, and what they never commented on, was that the Chiefs would always run on 2nd and 10, after an incompleted pass. It was the West Coast offense idea of running on throwing downs, but taken to such an extreme by the Chiefs in those days, that I have to think opponents starting playing 2nd and 10 as a running down. But I digress--before I've even started.

What I'm trying to say is that I know there are fans who live in the negative. Who's "favorite" team diminishes some of the invective that might otherwise be directed at their families. (At least you hope the family gets spared--at least a little). But I tend to live in the more optimistic camp. Not crazy-optimistic--the blog is called "Royal Pain" after all, but I'm hopeful. At least I try to be.

This season I thought there was a decent chance that the Royals might shed their April Curse. I really did. There was Gil Meche, the return of Zack Greinke, Alex Gordon, a full year of the "real" Mark Teahen--and I was really excited about our Rule V draft pick, Joakim Soria. (And probably only a Royals fan would be excited by Rule V guy.) But there was one more key cog responsible for my sunny outlook--Octavio Dotel.

Dotel was nails in Spring Training. in his first 7.2 innings he had 12 strikeouts. He was hitting 97 on the gun, saying things like, "I feel like I've got a brand-new arm." So I start thinking, if Dotel can be a real closer--the first one the Royals have had since Jeff Montgomery--hell, they can seriously improve on last years' record when they blew 31 saves.

But this is Octavio Dotel we're talking about. He's thrown less innings over the last four seasons than Roger Clemens threw last season--when he "came out of retirement" on June 22. That's the kind of fan I am--banking on Octavio Dotel's health.

And, of course, Dotel's shoulder probably still feels brand new, but now his left oblique's ruining all his child-like excitement about it. And of course the Royals did their classic, "We're going hold him out of the opener, then we've got a day off, so he should be good to go Wednesday; We're going to put him on the DL and backdate it, he should be good to go then--we're being very cautious; He felt a little something in the oblique when he tested it, but he should be fine, He's not going to be available when we'd hoped, but we think it will be soon after that;"(and on and on and on). Finally finishing with, "We don't really know what's going on with his "day-to-day" injury, but we're the Royals and this shit happens to us all the time!" (Okay, so they might not have said anything like that last part on the record. But you know they said it. "They" being...well, pick anyone in the Royals organization.)

So, anyway, I was counting on Dotel. And I was pleased that KC had signed David Riske--a nice set-up guy. Not overpowering, but deceptive and he throws strikes--something previously the Royals didn't seem to find all that necessary in a reliever. Plus, Ryan Braun made the team, and he's a young guy with a power arm that just might be ready for success. Jimmy Gobble wasn't a bad lefty, Joel Peralta was pretty effective last year, and then there was Soria, who I hoped might be eased in with some low pressure innings and eventually, after gaining some confidence, would pitch very effectively this season. That looked like a very good bullpen--by Royals standards. But, of course, that's not actually their bullpen.

Buddy Bell wasn't satisfied with six relievers, he wanted seven. Which meant that Todd Wellmeyer made the team--and when Dotel finally took his accustomed place on the DL, Jason Standridge also joined the club. They've both turned out to be bad ideas. Bad ideas in the, "Let's tell the security screeners we're terrorists!" vein. Because if you don't have a good bullpen, the thing to do is add more guys to it!

Riske was the first to step into the closer's role--and actually got a save before imploding against the Tigers on April 8, blowing a two-run lead before even getting an out in a 3-2 loss. The first blown save in the attempt to break last year's record (31 to go!). And that was enough for Bell, Riske was out as the closer. He didn't come out and say that, but it was true all the same. And who did Bell go to? Ah, let's skip the shenanigans--he went straight to the Rule V guy. That's how the Royals ease him in. And so far he's one for one! Here's hoping someday the Royals will have another lead in the ninth inning.

Because it doesn't feel like they ever will.

Okay Royals fans--let's do a quick word association-type test! I say, "The Royals get back-to-back walks to lead off the inning," what do you say? That's right! "Strike three, looking; double play." (It's really not magic, it just looks like it. What else would Royals fans think might happen--aside from some sort of injury...originally labeled "day-to-day.")

Strike three looking, double play is what happened to the Royals--most recently--in the first inning of their Friday the 13th game, an 8-1 loss to Erik Bedard. Bedard vs. Duckworth is not a good match-up for our slow-starting heroes, so getting back-to-back walks to lead off the first was cause for great optimism. But then Grudzielanek takes strike three and Sweeney hits into a DP and you can't help but think, "Oh no, I was being optimistic! Again! When will I ever learn?"

When I say the Royals can't score right now, I mean they really can't score. They've played 11 games, been on offense for 98 innings, and managed to put up a "crooked number" (i.e., score more than one run in an inning) only four times. Four. No team in the majors has fewer crooked number innings--and that includes Seattle who's only played six games!

In an earlier post, I hoped, after Alex Gordon's first home run, that he was ready to carry the team, because the team sure seemed to be waiting for him. But maybe the team isn't waiting for Gordon after all. Maybe they're just waiting for May.